Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in cordelia13's LiveJournal:

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Tuesday, April 12th, 2005
6:21 pm	A New Adventure Yesterday’s adventure had to be one of the most majestic things I have done so far. I am not much of an outdoors person having Irish blood run through my veins the sun is my worst enemy but, I have learned that with enough sun block I can do anything (a lesson learned at the end of last summer. Yesterday I woke up to the sounds of the outdoors as I had been sleeping in a tent... the sounds of soft rushing water, geese, birds, and other morning creatures. To then be called to breakfast to get my morning started with about 15-20 other people. After eating we joined in a circle to go over the day’s agenda and for the class to begin for the students (as I was just a visitor for the day). As their class continued I grabbed my camera and proceeded down the camp trail to the water from the river most graceful in the early morning with the sun just peaking over the mountains and between the trees and bouncing off the water. I watched some geese fighting over territory and protection there nests as some were bounced along the genital current of the water. I proceeded up the trail to find all the beauty and try to capture as much of it as I could on my camera. I then returned to the camp site to join in more of the class teamwork activity. Then it became time to get ready...I never thought I would ever wear a wet suite but some how managed to squeeze into one. We then loaded up into the cars and drove done to as place called Chili Bar were we launched the rafts out into the river...White Water Rafting a new experience, adventure and journey. The water at first were launching did not seem that rough but as we prepared and got ready the longer we took the more wild the waters got just were we were standing at shore. Once in the water it took but a short minute to get in the right mind frame of here we go. It was an incredible feeling being in this little tiny raft in such wild waters. After starting out the nervousness then went away and I was good to go. It was truly an amazing event that I can’t wait to do again. Bouncing over waves and falling over rocks in to holes to be shoved out by water as it hits against the rocks. The grace of the water as it thrashes about developing its elegant white caps. The feel of the ice cold water as it splashes down on my body. It was a truly great day and it brought me great sadness to see it come to an end as quickly as it did but, I know it will be an adventure relived only in a different way as something like that can never be repeated. The First Time White Water Rafting. Current Mood: rejuvenated (Comment on this)
Sunday, December 26th, 2004
2:57 pm	A New Years Resolution Sometimes we live in boxes and we miss out on things. Recently a dear friend made me realize my out look on life and ways to fix the things. It kind of co insides with my favorite quote from Moulin Rouge " The greatest thing you'll ever learn is to love and be loved in return." If you can't love yourself...how can you love others? With that being said I think that I have found my New Years resolution (something I usually don't do)...Learn to respect and love myself...to see who i am as how others see who I am. Life is not all bad there is good...it is just a matter of finding it. Current Mood: grateful (Comment on this)
Friday, December 24th, 2004
10:16 pm	Holiday Cheer Christmas Eve...the presents are opened and the paper cleaned up. It was nice because it was the first time my aunt,uncle and cousins joined us for the evening event. I got home from work around 7pm enjoyed some quiet time before they all got home from looking at the holiday lights. We all gathered around the tree and opened presents. The dog was the most entertaining with wrapping paper stuck to her feet and trying to open all of the pressents. It was great lots of fun gift being passed around filled with both love and fun. (Comment on this)
Tuesday, December 21st, 2004
7:35 am	Take the What animal best portrays your sexual appetite?? Quiz (Comment on this)
Tuesday, November 23rd, 2004
10:57 am	Bad Food On Thursday my family and I went out to celebrate my getting a new job. The restaurant we went to had great food but I will never eat there again...Being highly allergic to avocado I tend to look the menu over careful before ordering at exotic restaurant such as this one unfortunately avocado being mixed in with what I ordered was not on the menu causing great problems as I am finally starting to feel better a bit on the run down side but better. I have learned a lesson from this though and that is always ask what is in your food before ordering even when it is something simple you can never be over cautious (Comment on this)
Thursday, November 18th, 2004
5:07 pm	I DID IT Starting on December 6 I am finaly out of my old and lousey job and I will start my new job at Noah's Bagles and a store manager. I am so excited I cant wait some of the great thigns about my new job is that I can wear jeans and tennis shoes in stead of having to wear slacks and polo shirts and non-slip dress shoes. Also there will nolonger be late hours as the place closes at 5 pm instead of 10 pm. I CAN'T WAIT. Current Mood: energetic (Comment on this)
Friday, November 12th, 2004
1:20 pm	You Are From Neptune You are dreamy and mystical, with a natural psychic ability. You love music, poetry, dance, and (most of all) the open sea. Your soul is filled with possibilities, and your heart overflows with compassion. You can be in a room full of friendly people and feel all alone. If you don't get carried away with one idea, your spiritual nature will see you through anything. What Planet Are You From? (1 Comment |Comment on this)
12:25 pm	Black represents mysteriousness, elegance and detachment. Dahlias are flowers which symbolise coldness and soullessness. Obviously, you try to appear calm and indifferent, but deep inside you are as soft as anyone else. (Comment on this)
Monday, November 8th, 2004
11:30 pm	After showing up at the Starry-Plough kind of early {only an hour or so} I worked on a wrighting project that will someday be finished. Then class began greeneyedpwca was my partner for the four hand reel were the importance of the telescope was stressed as things progressed the lesson did not go well as we were getting board casuing her and I to get a bad case of the giggles that spread to the other woman in the group. So we sat out the rest of the lesson and talked of bad dreams and life. I did a few dances with unique twists as changing from a girls side to a boy side then back it was a lot of fun till it was time to go to bed Current Mood: content Current Music: Tarzan the Movie (Comment on this)
Sunday, October 31st, 2004
8:05 pm	Happy Halloween This morning I got home from a friends house to find that Emily and Andrew had already left to go home. So I sat and enjoyed the quiet time. When a friend called and invited me to join him and his family in pumpkin carving. Due to an accident on the road I ended up being late to his house. We gathered the pumpkins and headed over to his parents house. After a nice long visit with his mom we went out back and started to clean the pumpkins with one of his sisters...Mmmmmm... Nothing better than the feel of pumpkin mush between the fingers...then he and his other sister began to carve the two of the pumpkins saving me the last one while I finished fishing through the mush helping his sister pull out the seeds to later roast and eat. As I finished cutting up mine with some help we headed back to his house to set them up to loured the trick or treaters. Then I was off to a nice quiet night at home. Current Mood: amused Current Music: The Haunted Manssion Sound Tracdk by Disney (Comment on this)
1:13 am	I Could Have Danced All Night The morning started about 6am "Auntie are you awake...Are you awake auntie...It is time to get up and play games with me." So after managing to turn the TV on in my room I was able to squeeze in an extra half hour of sleep before giving up, getting up and starting the day. I played games with the kids for a while before getting ready. Once ready I headed over to knightca house for the Rose of Waterdeep game. The game was a lot of fun it was kind of a dungeon crawl but one of those rare moments were everybody is equal in there abilities by having no weapons, or magic. In the game nobody could die but it was more of a timed contest 15 min to finish each leave. Some tension broke out causing some problems as the game was coming to an end that was later settled. A short time later Knightca and I headed to Gaskells Ball at the Scottish Rites Temple. At first it was not going to well when I was stood up for the first few dances but after that I managed to get in on most of the dances I know how to do making it a lot of fun. I even got the courage up to ask people to dance. Some of the people that asked me to dance the ones I did not know were very patient and willing to take the time to teach. It was a lot of fun but kind of sad when the night had come to an end. How ever quiet relived as it has been a long and fun filled day...it just started to early....Good Night Current Mood: tired (Comment on this)
Friday, October 29th, 2004
9:39 pm	came over for the afternoon so we had a Farscape movie marithon and watch the entire TV movie while haveing some quality cuddle time and a tickel fight that left me crawling down the hall to get away. After he left Andrew and I decorated cookies that should have been for halloween but turned in to big blobs of coloured frosting. But they still taste good despite there looks. (Comment on this)
Monday, October 25th, 2004
8:11 am	Long Day Plus Long Night Nothing worse then starting a day at work with pc problems first thing in the morning than to have then carry through till it is time to get off. After a very long day at work that ended up with having to sit on the floor with one of those cheep calculators from the dollar store that when you hit the add button the dam thing subtract. The reason for this is because the other managers were to busy figuring out how to do stupid things that could have waited the half hour it would have taken me to use the real calculator and desk to finish tings up. After that I was to head over pick up a friend from bart followed by go to somebody’s house {were I was invited to stay the night} up on arrival the home owner called to say he was running late {not a problem} I was beginning to feel especially anti-social after all the problems at work. Once he finally showed up he had brought a female friend with him who i found out had been stranded and he was going to take her home later in the night or else the next day depending on how I felt about her being there {feeling some what upset already I did not want her there but I weighed my choices she goes home tonight and I loose most of the quality time we would have shared or else he takes her the next day possibly giving us a chance to hang out in the morning and do stuff before I have to be to work by 3} The rest of the group gathers to play some games and have a good time while that I am feeling a bit on the dumpy side and getting worse. Being over sensitive, grumpy and emotional the simplest of comments made in fun turns me even more anti-social to the point were I do not even want to be with the group instead i much rather hide in the back or go home but it was assured to me many times that he wanted me to stay the night so I did much to my dismay the night turned into a slumber party as one of the gamer did not have a way home because of public transportation, the girl that got stranded, my self and the home owner {something i was not in the mood for} I got the pleasure of getting the floor to sleep on {oh joy should have taken the chance to run while I had it} But not to long and morning would come....soon hopefully... Then it finally does by 8 am I was asked to give the guy a ride to the bart station then basically go home {feeling that I over stayed my welcome but confused by the impression that we were going to hang out and do something as a group} but feeling some what disappointed I quickly gathered my stuff trying to hide back the tears and hurry to get out of there as I was no longer wanted to stay. One good thing did come out of it...there was something said that I have not heard in a long time and never from this person...And although it did not seem that way with emotions running high... it did mean a lot to me to hear it from this person and will be held close in mind, memory, and heart. Current Mood: grumpy Current Music: Evanescence "My Immortal" (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Friday, October 22nd, 2004
1:18 am	A Relaxing Night It was a nice and relaxing night. A friend came over and helped me with my computer before heading off to a play party in San Francisco. When we got to the party we volunteered for front door duty. Being there as a volunteer was nice because it encouraged us to talk with some of the other people present. There was this one girl named Signit was really nice to talk to and really sweet. She had mentioned that her and her partner do fire play {something that both my friend and I are interested in someday learning} so that caught our attention and she would give tips and ideas. Once we were done with door duty we began to play for the rest of the night. As the night wound down he and i came across a group of girls sitting around talking so we joined them to later have Signit join the conversation as well. He and I decided to play one more time before leaving. As we were getting ready to go Signit asked if we would walk her out to her car were we stood and talked for some time. She then asked if it was ok if she gave us a hug {I am not much of a touchy person but she care across a certain way that was very positive} so we did the group hug before going our separate ways. I can't wait to go back to the party again in hopes to see her again as she is somebody I would like to get to know better.   Current Mood: energetic (Comment on this)
Wednesday, October 20th, 2004
11:30 pm	YEAY it is finally Friday {at least in my book it is} It had been a long gruelling week at work on Monday we got a new register and back office system {with no training and an instruction book that is not worth the paper it is written on} everything has been off some staff can't clock in while others can't clock out, home office can tap into our system and reboot any time they want and not say a word till you are upfront in the middle of an order and all the registers black out we now have a use swipe cards which are a major pain in the ass I don’t know how many times mine would get caught in a game while fixing it or stuck into a register if it gets to close. But what can I say the people at home office don’t think about stupid little things like that because they have probably worked in a store for one day a year if that other wise they are in there offices and just giving instructions over the phone never in the field were the shit really happens. but that is work and I don't have to do it for the next 2 days though I do have a job interview tomorrow afternoon which I am kind of nervous about because I have conducted interviews for the last 5 years but never been the one getting interviewed so I'll have to see how that goes Current Mood: grumpy Current Music: the sound of silence (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Friday, October 15th, 2004
9:31 am	Perfect Holiday Gift Ideas It is once again that time of year when the question on everybody’s mind is "What do you want for Christmas?" {Or what ever holiday you celebrate}The only problem is that a true gift comes from the heart and the best gifts are given year round...the ones that money can't buy... Perfect Holiday Gift Ideas The gifts of time as once you have it can never be taken way and if the time is used properly it will create the gift of unforgettable memories. The gift of expectance by accepting me for who I am it is easier to except others for who they are there for expanding the circle of those closes The gift of love showing how much you care A gift from the heart that shows you think of me Examples of a perfect Holiday gift A weekend up on the snow having snow ball fights and making snowmen A midnight walk after a spring time shower with the moon dancing about the pools of water A late night nap out beneath the glittering stars on a warm summer night An afternoon walk with the orange and gold leaves crunching beneath every foot step A random act of a cuddle filled weekend A random note of I was thinking of you Current Mood: thankful Current Music: "This Christmas" (Comment on this)
Wednesday, October 6th, 2004
11:36 pm	You Can Do It With Four But I Can Do It By Myself Tonight at work was an elementary school fund raising night. The very first one done in the company was on Monday at the Newark location {I am at the Dublin store} it took 4 managers to run things and it did not go well from what I was told by many that were there that night. Tonight the event at my store brought in more money for the school by about $600 more and I was the only manager in the store. Even though things were crazy at times for the most part it ran smoothly and my staff got done with clean up by 11:00 pm. It felt great when the district manager stopped in to check on things and was able to see things going great. For the first time in 2 years he complimented me on doing a good job. I will say that the compliment is a little to late, a little to short and it will not keep me from finding a better job. Especially with the way things have fallen down hill since a new general manager has taken over. It would probably help if I was more of an alcoholic like she was and had 2 terrors for kids but since that she has been in charge things at work have been a living hell to put it nicely and nothing she can say will make me want to stay and work with her. As a store manager I get paid pennies for all the stuff I have to deal with....customer service, 40 teenagers = drama drama and more drama, council, teach, peace keeper, the shoulder my teens cry up on and rely up on, food handler, game tech, plumber, table service, janitor, cashier, party host, and when things are really bad the pleasure of having to run around in a rat suite. At times it is enough to make you crazy.....wait I think it already...... Yes it already has made me crazy. Current Mood: crazy (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Saturday, October 2nd, 2004
8:25 pm	Thoughts on Polyamoury Thoughts on polyamoury When I first heard that the guy I was dating was polyamoury {polly for short} I was very confused and scared. I had no idea what it meant and what was going on. I was scared, to be one of many were would I fit in were would I belong was this his way of saying what we were sharing was over? What would I do he meant so much to me and here I was suddenly nothing to him {or so it felt}. After giving some time and thought I figured I would go with the flow and see were things went from there. The first night I was over {after being told of him being polly} he went to sleep with another woman it the other room and there I was trying to sleep in his room... alone for the first time, in his big empty bed, while he was a cross the hall with somebody else. I cried myself to sleep that night and many nights after that when I would be in his bed alone.... still very confused, feeling out of place and trying to figure out were I should be in his life or if I should even be there. I started to grow distant and feared all the other women. Was I just there until somebody better was to take my place? Did he really want me around or was this his way of dropping hints that things were over but he could not say it? At times I would become jealous of them because the time with them should have been time with me. If it was not for them getting in the way we would be closer. As time moved on I realized that his being polly was not moving us apart but instead it was doing just the opposite and making us closer. By accepting him for being polly the strange bond that we share started to actually making us closer. I have yet to figure out how to describe the........the friendship, relationship, bond or what ever it should be called that we share but, it is a strange and a strong connection that he and I have. it is all because of who he is and who I am that I have been able to over time except him for being polly and feel that in its own way has made me a stronger person. It has taught me how to be more excepting of a persons choice is life style as well as opened me up to other types of lifestyles that exist After a recent conversation he and I recently had I know that the bond we share is much stronger than before and it only continues to grow with each and every experience we share in both time spent together as well as apart This is something he and I never really talked about before because that I keep my feeling in and, well hidden and.... in all honesty when I first found out I am quite relived that I kept them in.... because it would have been a quick judgement of I do not belong here instead of trying to see were things would go and see who he really is and that I do belong. Sometimes it is hard to except some of the other women because of jelousey, envy, anger,insecurity resentment sadness and many other emotional reasons set in but, sometimes the smallest of friendships can develop. I have seen a handful of others come and go in a short time and, all because they are not willing to except that they are not the only one. Some have even tried to befriend me then comment on how "bad" the relationship is between us as a way to try to remove me from being one of the others and try to become the only one. I have also seen some that do not except the truth that there are others and become cold, rude and even turn hostile to him because that he cares so much about so many. I guess what I am getting at is that if you really love somebody you except them for who they are and you accept those in there life that may range from family, and friends, to other women/men that they care so deeply for. Never try to break the bond that one shares with another because in doing so all you are doing is breaking what you share with that person. If you can't accept them for who they are then you need to move on and find somebody else. If you try to change a person for who they are then they are what you have created and not the person you first met. Current Mood: thankful (Comment on this)
Tuesday, September 28th, 2004
11:14 pm	A Hard Lesson Learned I learned a major lesson recently NO matter how much you care for somebody NEVER lend them money in the end it will break things up let them learn the hard way to controll there finances and don't be the lending tree. Last year I lent my so called bestfreind of 10 years $300 to now be told that she will give it to me when she is ready even though right now it is something I need. There are many other tings that have torn apart the friendship and if you ask her it is all my fault I was once told by my favorite boss that when one finger is pointed at the other person three are pointed back at you so I know that I am at fault just as much as she is but it is sad that this is the note that it had to end on. Current Mood: disappointed Current Music: Lee Ann Womack "I Hope You Dance" (Comment on this)
Wednesday, September 22nd, 2004
8:11 am	A night of cuddles Last night was a nice and peaceful evening as I met a friend after work and went off to his house were it was a night filled with action movies {my favourite} such as Tomb Raider, Tomb Raider 2, and Kill Bill II {which I would not suggest to even my worst enemy it was that bad} As we watched the action we were able to enjoy a long night of cuddles and snuggles that was very nice and refreshing in its own strange way and i think that it is because often that is not something we do usual we are out dancing, gaming, or something in the social light. Current Mood: content Current Music: Fantasia 2 sound track (Comment on this)