cordelia13

A New Adventure

2005-04-13T01:45:51Z

Yesterday’s adventure had to be one of the most majestic things I have done so far. I am not much of an outdoors person having Irish blood run through my veins the sun is my worst enemy but, I have learned that with enough sun block I can do anything (a lesson learned at the end of last summer.

Yesterday I woke up to the sounds of the outdoors as I had been sleeping in a tent... the sounds of soft rushing water, geese, birds, and other morning creatures. To then be called to breakfast to get my morning started with about 15-20 other people. After eating we joined in a circle to go over the day’s agenda and for the class to begin for the students (as I was just a visitor for the day). As their class continued I grabbed my camera and proceeded down the camp trail to the water from the river most graceful in the early morning with the sun just peaking over the mountains and between the trees and bouncing off the water. I watched some geese fighting over territory and protection there nests as some were bounced along the genital current of the water. I proceeded up the trail to find all the beauty and try to capture as much of it as I could on my camera. I then returned to the camp site to join in more of the class teamwork activity.

Then it became time to get ready...I never thought I would ever wear a wet suite but some how managed to squeeze into one. We then loaded up into the cars and drove done to as place called Chili Bar were we launched the rafts out into the river...White Water Rafting a new experience, adventure and journey. The water at first were launching did not seem that rough but as we prepared and got ready the longer we took the more wild the waters got just were we were standing at shore. Once in the water it took but a short minute to get in the right mind frame of here we go. It was an incredible feeling being in this little tiny raft in such wild waters. After starting out the nervousness then went away and I was good to go. It was truly an amazing event that I can’t wait to do again. Bouncing over waves and falling over rocks in to holes to be shoved out by water as it hits against the rocks. The grace of the water as it thrashes about developing its elegant white caps. The feel of the ice cold water as it splashes down on my body.

It was a truly great day and it brought me great sadness to see it come to an end as quickly as it did but, I know it will be an adventure relived only in a different way as something like that can never be repeated. The First Time White Water Rafting.

A New Years Resolution

2004-12-27T01:14:08Z

Sometimes we live in boxes and we miss out on things. Recently a dear friend made me realize my out look on life and ways to fix the things. It kind of co insides with my favorite quote from Moulin Rouge " The greatest thing you'll ever learn is to love and be loved in return." If you can't love yourself...how can you love others? With that being said I think that I have found my New Years resolution (something I usually don't do)...Learn to respect and love myself...to see who i am as how others see who I am. Life is not all bad there is good...it is just a matter of finding it.

cordelia13 @ 2004-12-21T07:35:00

2004-12-21T15:36:23Z

Take the What
animal best portrays your sexual appetite?? Quiz

Bad Food

2004-11-23T19:06:12Z

On Thursday my family and I went out to celebrate my getting a new job. The restaurant we went to had great food but I will never eat there again...Being highly allergic to avocado I tend to look the menu over careful before ordering at exotic restaurant such as this one unfortunately avocado being mixed in with what I ordered was not on the menu causing great problems as I am finally starting to feel better a bit on the run down side but better. I have learned a lesson from this though and that is always ask what is in your food before ordering even when it is something simple you can never be over cautious

cordelia13 @ 2004-11-18T17:07:00

2004-11-19T01:29:50Z

I DID IT

Starting on December 6 I am finaly out of my old and lousey job and I will start my new job at Noah's Bagles and a store manager. I am so excited I cant wait some of the great thigns about my new job is that I can wear jeans and tennis shoes in stead of having to wear slacks and polo shirts and non-slip dress shoes. Also there will nolonger be late hours as the place closes at 5 pm instead of 10 pm. I CAN'T WAIT.

cordelia13 @ 2004-11-12T13:20:00

2004-11-12T21:20:19Z

You Are From Neptune

You are dreamy and mystical, with a natural psychic ability.
You love music, poetry, dance, and (most of all) the open sea.
Your soul is filled with possibilities, and your heart overflows with compassion.
You can be in a room full of friendly people and feel all alone.
If you don't get carried away with one idea, your spiritual nature will see you through anything.

What Planet Are You From?

cordelia13 @ 2004-11-12T12:25:00

2004-11-12T20:27:24Z

Black represents mysteriousness,
elegance
and detachment. Dahlias are flowers
which symbolise
coldness and soullessness.
Obviously, you try to appear calm
and
indifferent, but deep inside you are as soft as
anyone else.

Happy Halloween

2004-11-01T20:19:10Z

This morning I got home from a friends house to find that Emily and Andrew had already left to go home. So I sat and enjoyed the quiet time. When a friend called and invited me to join him and his family in pumpkin carving. Due to an accident on the road I ended up being late to his house. We gathered the pumpkins and headed over to his parents house. After a nice long visit with his mom we went out back and started to clean the pumpkins with one of his sisters...Mmmmmm... Nothing better than the feel of pumpkin mush between the fingers...then he and his other sister began to carve the two of the pumpkins saving me the last one while I finished fishing through the mush helping his sister pull out the seeds to later roast and eat. As I finished cutting up mine with some help we headed back to his house to set them up to loured the trick or treaters. Then I was off to a nice quiet night at home.

Long Day Plus Long Night

2004-10-25T19:49:03Z

Nothing worse then starting a day at work with pc problems first thing in the morning than to have then carry through till it is time to get off. After a very long day at work that ended up with having to sit on the floor with one of those cheep calculators from the dollar store that when you hit the add button the dam thing subtract. The reason for this is because the other managers were to busy figuring out how to do stupid things that could have waited the half hour it would have taken me to use the real calculator and desk to finish tings up. After that I was to head over pick up a friend from bart followed by go to somebody’s house {were I was invited to stay the night} up on arrival the home owner called to say he was running late {not a problem} I was beginning to feel especially anti-social after all the problems at work. Once he finally showed up he had brought a female friend with him who i found out had been stranded and he was going to take her home later in the night or else the next day depending on how I felt about her being there {feeling some what upset already I did not want her there but I weighed my choices she goes home tonight and I loose most of the quality time we would have shared or else he takes her the next day possibly giving us a chance to hang out in the morning and do stuff before I have to be to work by 3} The rest of the group gathers to play some games and have a good time while that I am feeling a bit on the dumpy side and getting worse. Being over sensitive, grumpy and emotional the simplest of comments made in fun turns me even more anti-social to the point were I do not even want to be with the group instead i much rather hide in the back or go home but it was assured to me many times that he wanted me to stay the night so I did much to my dismay the night turned into a slumber party as one of the gamer did not have a way home because of public transportation, the girl that got stranded, my self and the home owner {something i was not in the mood for} I got the pleasure of getting the floor to sleep on {oh joy should have taken the chance to run while I had it} But not to long and morning would come....soon hopefully... Then it finally does by 8 am I was asked to give the guy a ride to the bart station then basically go home {feeling that I over stayed my welcome but confused by the impression that we were going to hang out and do something as a group} but feeling some what disappointed I quickly gathered my stuff trying to hide back the tears and hurry to get out of there as I was no longer wanted to stay.

One good thing did come out of it...there was something said that I have not heard in a long time and never from this person...And although it did not seem that way with emotions running high... it did mean a lot to me to hear it from this person and will be held close in mind, memory, and heart.

cordelia13 @ 2004-10-20T23:30:00

2004-10-21T07:09:06Z

YEAY it is finally Friday {at least in my book it is} It had been a long gruelling week at work on Monday we got a new register and back office system {with no training and an instruction book that is not worth the paper it is written on} everything has been off some staff can't clock in while others can't clock out, home office can tap into our system and reboot any time they want and not say a word till you are upfront in the middle of an order and all the registers black out we now have a use swipe cards which are a major pain in the ass I don’t know how many times mine would get caught in a game while fixing it or stuck into a register if it gets to close. But what can I say the people at home office don’t think about stupid little things like that because they have probably worked in a store for one day a year if that other wise they are in there offices and just giving instructions over the phone never in the field were the shit really happens.

but that is work and I don't have to do it for the next 2 days though I do have a job interview tomorrow afternoon which I am kind of nervous about because I have conducted interviews for the last 5 years but never been the one getting interviewed so I'll have to see how that goes

Perfect Holiday Gift Ideas

2004-10-15T18:12:26Z

It is once again that time of year when the question on everybody’s mind is "What do you want for Christmas?" {Or what ever holiday you celebrate}The only problem is that a true gift comes from the heart and the best gifts are given year round...the ones that money can't buy...

Perfect Holiday Gift Ideas

The gifts of time as once you have it can never be taken way and if the time is used properly it will create the gift of unforgettable memories.

The gift of expectance by accepting me for who I am it is easier to except others for who they are there for expanding the circle of those closes

The gift of love showing how much you care

A gift from the heart that shows you think of me

Examples of a perfect Holiday gift
A weekend up on the snow having snow ball fights and making snowmen
A midnight walk after a spring time shower with the moon dancing about the pools of water
A late night nap out beneath the glittering stars on a warm summer night
An afternoon walk with the orange and gold leaves crunching beneath every foot step
A random act of a cuddle filled weekend
A random note of I was thinking of you

You Can Do It With Four But I Can Do It By Myself

2004-10-07T06:58:12Z

Tonight at work was an elementary school fund raising night. The very first one done in the company was on Monday at the Newark location {I am at the Dublin store} it took 4 managers to run things and it did not go well from what I was told by many that were there that night. Tonight the event at my store brought in more money for the school by about $600 more and I was the only manager in the store. Even though things were crazy at times for the most part it ran smoothly and my staff got done with clean up by 11:00 pm. It felt great when the district manager stopped in to check on things and was able to see things going great. For the first time in 2 years he complimented me on doing a good job.

I will say that the compliment is a little to late, a little to short and it will not keep me from finding a better job. Especially with the way things have fallen down hill since a new general manager has taken over. It would probably help if I was more of an alcoholic like she was and had 2 terrors for kids but since that she has been in charge things at work have been a living hell to put it nicely and nothing she can say will make me want to stay and work with her. As a store manager I get paid pennies for all the stuff I have to deal with....customer service, 40 teenagers = drama drama and more drama, council, teach, peace keeper, the shoulder my teens cry up on and rely up on, food handler, game tech, plumber, table service, janitor, cashier, party host, and when things are really bad the pleasure of having to run around in a rat suite.

At times it is enough to make you crazy.....wait I think it already...... Yes it already has made me crazy.

Thoughts on Polyamoury

2004-10-03T03:45:38Z

Thoughts on polyamoury

When I first heard that the guy I was dating was polyamoury {polly for short} I was very confused and scared. I had no idea what it meant and what was going on. I was scared, to be one of many were would I fit in were would I belong was this his way of saying what we were sharing was over? What would I do he meant so much to me and here I was suddenly nothing to him {or so it felt}.

After giving some time and thought I figured I would go with the flow and see were things went from there. The first night I was over {after being told of him being polly} he went to sleep with another woman it the other room and there I was trying to sleep in his room... alone for the first time, in his big empty bed, while he was a cross the hall with somebody else. I cried myself to sleep that night and many nights after that when I would be in his bed alone.... still very confused, feeling out of place and trying to figure out were I should be in his life or if I should even be there. I started to grow distant and feared all the other women. Was I just there until somebody better was to take my place? Did he really want me around or was this his way of dropping hints that things were over but he could not say it? At times I would become jealous of them because the time with them should have been time with me. If it was not for them getting in the way we would be closer.

As time moved on I realized that his being polly was not moving us apart but instead it was doing just the opposite and making us closer. By accepting him for being polly the strange bond that we share started to actually making us closer.

I have yet to figure out how to describe the........the friendship, relationship, bond or what ever it should be called that we share but, it is a strange and a strong connection that he and I have. it is all because of who he is and who I am that I have been able to over time except him for being polly and feel that in its own way has made me a stronger person. It has taught me how to be more excepting of a persons choice is life style as well as opened me up to other types of lifestyles that exist

After a recent conversation he and I recently had I know that the bond we share is much stronger than before and it only continues to grow with each and every experience we share in both time spent together as well as apart

This is something he and I never really talked about before because that I keep my feeling in and, well hidden and.... in all honesty when I first found out I am quite relived that I kept them in.... because it would have been a quick judgement of I do not belong here instead of trying to see were things would go and see who he really is and that I do belong.

Sometimes it is hard to except some of the other women because of jelousey, envy, anger,insecurity resentment sadness and many other emotional reasons set in but, sometimes the smallest of friendships can develop. I have seen a handful of others come and go in a short time and, all because they are not willing to except that they are not the only one. Some have even tried to befriend me then comment on how "bad" the relationship is between us as a way to try to remove me from being one of the others and try to become the only one. I have also seen some that do not except the truth that there are others and become cold, rude and even turn hostile to him because that he cares so much about so many.

I guess what I am getting at is that if you really love somebody you except them for who they are and you accept those in there life that may range from family, and friends, to other women/men that they care so deeply for. Never try to break the bond that one shares with another because in doing so all you are doing is breaking what you share with that person. If you can't accept them for who they are then you need to move on and find somebody else. If you try to change a person for who they are then they are what you have created and not the person you first met.

A Hard Lesson Learned

2004-09-29T06:23:07Z

I learned a major lesson recently NO matter how much you care for somebody NEVER lend them money in the end it will break things up let them learn the hard way to controll there finances and don't be the lending tree. Last year I lent my so called bestfreind of 10 years $300 to now be told that she will give it to me when she is ready even though right now it is something I need. There are many other tings that have torn apart the friendship and if you ask her it is all my fault I was once told by my favorite boss that when one finger is pointed at the other person three are pointed back at you so I know that I am at fault just as much as she is but it is sad that this is the note that it had to end on.

Friday Night Waltz

2004-09-28T18:40:56Z

I had a great night when knightca encouraged me join him at Friday night waltz. The people there were a lot of fun to be around and very friendly. The lesson on how to do the rotary waltz was great. The instructors were very patient. Dancing with different partners was a nice way to meet others. I enjoyed the variety of people that were there and the way that they were eager to teach and work with me on the steps of different dances and one partner who really wanted to dance but neither of us had a clue on how to so the swing so we found a corner out of the way and did our own attempt at the swing. That was a lot of laughs and amusement.

The only occurred moment was when a friends ex tried to be extremely nice and friendly. As much as I hate to say it she was to nice a side of her I had never seen. I was not sure how to interact with her because I have seen her go off on a whim about stupid stuff.

A night of cuddles

2004-09-23T15:21:18Z

Last night was a nice and peaceful evening as I met a friend after work and went off to his house were it was a night filled with action movies {my favourite} such as Tomb Raider, Tomb Raider 2, and Kill Bill II {which I would not suggest to even my worst enemy it was that bad} As we watched the action we were able to enjoy a long night of cuddles and snuggles that was very nice and refreshing in its own strange way and i think that it is because often that is not something we do usual we are out dancing, gaming, or something in the social light.

A relaxing weekend

2004-09-13T07:22:34Z

On Friday I meet a friend were I was able to get a house key as he was not going to be home for the night and I was going to keep his cats entertained. So we met for lunch and had a nice fast-food picnic in a near by park before I headed over to his house. Were it was complete and total me time with many beading projects to be done before the holidays it was a great time to start, as well as, continue working on my short story that I am attempting to write, some pc time and lots of loves and cuddles from the cats then off to bed. This was till his plans had a sudden change and he ended up coming home around midnight then it was let me help you time. Once he felt better about his plans changing we cuddled up with a good movie called "That Thing You Do" even though I slept in and out through most of it then went off to bed. The next day consisted of spending time out by the pool soaking up the chlorine in my hair and the sun on my back. {It had been a long time since I was last in a pool} then it was time to help him get ready for his D&D game that was a lot of fun though it was a long adventure then more snuggle and cuddle time together with the cats while watching "X Men 2" then it was off to bed this morning we got up and played Dungeon Siege then unfortunately the weekend came tumbling down when I had to return to the real world and go to work in the afternoon.... {Long Deep Sigh}

Irish Dance

2004-08-26T17:46:02Z

Amy was doing a great job teaching a new dance. The music was fun and upbeat but what made it the best was dancing beneath the stars, with creatures flying by, cars stopping to watch, and the occasional stranger being encouraged to join in There was a great feeling of fun and freedom in the air as every body danced about.

A Weekend of Many Firsts

2004-08-10T20:51:04Z

I had a nice weekend with a special friend it was the weekend filled of may firsts for me; a first time camping, a first time at a nude beach, and a first time involved with the Burning Man group.

The camping was a great experience sleeping in a tent outside and being able to hear the sounds of the night time creatures crickets singing to there mates, the chirps of restless birds, and the many others that move among the night, the sounds of the waves coming to rest on the shore and the unsettled leaves dancing about in the midnight breeze. Something I would love to do again before the harsh coolness of winter pays its respects

It had been a number of years since the last time I was at the beach. So being back made me realize all that i was missing out on the feel of the soft sand as it takes the shape of your feet as you walk in it the feel of the ocean water washing a cross your feet as you look for lost shells and other such trinkets that are laid to rest right before you but being a nude beach added something more. the feel of the sun warming your body as the gentle breezes blanket your body with coolness from the harsh warmth of the sun. I enjoyed watching the confidence people would build once down on the beach at first fully clothed the slowly removing the layers once comfortable and confident with both themselves and there surroundings.

Burning Man.. were to begin the people are friendly and the events are unique the unfortunate thing is that it revolves a lot around drugs and alcohol. The people have a very free mind, spirit and soul were anything and everything go. Boundaries and limits are only set by those that have a closed mind seems to be there motto. The clothing they wore were in a class of its own ranging from metallic silver shirt and skit that reflect the colurs of the glow sticks to pants covered in beanie babies, to a hot pink biker guy followed by Cesser with a glowing crown. The events they had on Saturday night were quite an experience fire spinners, a cuddle pool, a pleasure tent, and an erotic bar. The fire dancers were incredible as they spun fire balls around there bodies the trails of the orange and blue from the flames danced around the bodies of the spinners so graceful and elegant the women topless watching there shadows as the dance in the flames of the fires around them. The cuddle pool... a unique idea ... an inflatable pool filled with blankets, pillows, and stuffed animals. A place were small groups could hop in and hold each other close while watching the midnight sky and get to know each other if they already did not. The pleasure tent a place of penny flicking, glow stick tossing, jokes both good and bad, a place filled with cuddling snuggling and much more left only for the imagination to fly away with. The erotic bar now that was truly a great concept to get a drink you would have to kneel before a giant block of ice and as the drink was poured over the ice were you had to lap it up as it came running down while either being flogged or paddled. I would enjoy going back again especially now that I know what I would be getting into. As I said there are no words that could begin to describe the people of Burning Man but they have a way to intrigue you and bring out the curiosity and imagination in you.

Once all is said and dine I would love to go back again. To sleep in the tent, lay on the beach and see what the Burning Man clan can come up with next time.

Day at work form

2004-08-06T08:09:49Z

An eventful night at work

You ever have one of those days when you want to just throw in the towel but it is hard because it is your favorite towel.

That is how I feel about my job. Today began with interviews that carried over from yesterday, followed by a delivery that was 4 hours late (it was only a weeks worth of food, paper supplies, toys and such) that was proceeded with an extremely busy night my cashiers could barley keep up, my kitchen was behind most of the night (best person on staff too) and unfortunately once one person gets behind so does everybody else. then the mens room developed a leak and became flooded. Then the Blond Lady came in with her 3 kids (if you could call them that) the kids climb on every thing jump over there seats onto the seat behind them were somebody else is sitting, steal balls from other games while people are playing, climb onto the games and try to jump from one to another and then they try to tip you while you are running food to the tables, take food from other tables so finally after I caught on of the little hellions and dragged him kicking and screaming over to her and told her it was time to go. Somewhere between her visit a pipe in the mensa room cracked and when the toilet was flushed water would spray all over causing again another flood as well as some kids that got showers. Then two of my employees got into an argument that I had to break up and that was followed by the one who started it calling names to another employee so I told him to go home as I was tired of dealing with it in the process he got mad and left his mark on the wall about a foot and a half from my head. Once he was finally out of the building things started to calm down. We had to do clean up and then it was finally time to go home YEEEAAAAYYYYYYY

Another long day brought to an end once and for all.

cordelia13 @ 2004-08-02T11:45:00

2004-08-03T07:52:53Z

I love to write poems and short stories ironic because I failed both sophomore and senior English. My senior English teacher told me that I had no righting skills and that I would be best to not even try. It is a "hidden talent" that I have but the greatest thing is when I am able to share a piece that I have done with somebody that appreciates my work.

Today I wrote a poem and sent it to a friend and when he commented on how much he liked it there was this over whealming feel of pride in the work that I did. Kind of like that warm blanket feel on a cold night. it really meant a lot to me.